After Careful Research...

...it turns out that breakin' up IS hard to do. Who would have thought?

Yeah, that's Bridget right there, wallowing in sadness.

Because it's been a whole week since I've written anything, I feel I deserve to bring my sunny view on life to something it's very hard to be optimistic about. The Break Up.

Side Note: Because we at WMWC (We = Me) keep things VERY classy, this isn't going to be the place where I post The Well-Intentioned Ex-Boyfriend (his new title)'s home address and ask you to wreak havoc on his life. Hardly. I only have the utmost respect for him. I'm not even including specifics, so you can go off and speculate as you please. Really, go ahead. Here are some examples of acceptable speculation: Were there five other women involved!? Was I the other woman all along!? Did I fall in love with his cryogenically frozen twin brother who was previously thought dead and gone? IS HE A VAMPIRE!? Etc., etc...

Ok, stop speculating for a moment and listen to my wisdom I've accumulated in, oh, exactly 24 hours of heartbreak. I know, I'm practically a veteran at this point.

First off, it turns out that The Break Up is an intricate, exotic animal, sort of like a Liger. As Jeffrey Lebowski (The Dude) might say, it has "a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous." Really, Dude, I couldn't have phrased it better myself.

Alright, I do have a phrase to add: It sucks. Eloquent, I know. And although it sucks, I've decided to compile a list of reasons why it doesn't suck. Feel free to comment and add other reasons - I don't have ALL the wisdom in the world, you know.

1) To be serious for a second, you don't realize quite how many people love you (or how many people you love) until a loss occurs. I have so many wonderful friends and parents and grandparents in my life. I've never felt so taken care of and loved like I do right now... and so, so grateful.

2) I want to buy things, and I don't feel bad about it. Today I went to Sephora with a gift card and bought a new lipstick. I'm wearing it now. It's really, really pretty and pink and I feel like a totally new woman.

3) I've lost four pounds. Ok, that has nothing to do with TBU, since anxiety doesn't generally quell my appetite (if only...), but it doesn't hurt things either. Example:

Scene: Walks into the bathroom, looks in mirror.

Mirror Self: "You look hot. And thin. Wallowing totally becomes you."

Glance at side view, makes a sexy-face. (Ladies, don't pretend you don't have a mirror-sexy-face.)

Regular Self: "Hey! You're totally right! I'm going to put on jeans that make my butt look nice and get myself out of the house!"

Four pounds lost, problem solved. See?

4) I've stopped fidgeting. If you know me in real life, I'm a really fidgety person. I bite my nails, I crack my knuckles, I DON'T STOP MOVING. It drives my mother crazy, she's always asking "Why are you so nervous." Well, it turns out it was because I was HAPPY. Weird. Sadness took care of that habit!

5) Train ticket and gas money for trips to see The Well-Intentioned Ex-Boyfriend can now be spent on new clothes. I mean, sure, he was worth every penny. But it doesn't mean a new spring wardrobe isn't worth it either... I'm thinking a bright colored trench coat would be LOVELY.

6) Time. Right now, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm always so busy and crazed, these weekends ahead of me without a trip (or a visitor) scheduled are looming, empty and desolate. But I think I finally need to learn how to fill time and RELAX. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise, after all.

I apologize to you, readers, if this entry was too personal for what you've come to expect from me, but I like to think you've all been there, or known someone who's been there, and that you can appreciate a humorous, positive take on TBU. And who knows, maybe some day I'll be writing an entry about The New Guy or even The Un-Break Up with The Well-Intentioned Ex-Boyfriend. Only time will tell.

OR maybe I'll become some weird spinster who wears lipstick when she's alone and watches Jeopardy all the time (TOTALLY a possibility.) 

But please, send well-wishes so that doesn't happen.