Wanna Fight?

Today's thought:

I could so kick another girl's ass.

I've never had a desire to fight anyone, really. But the other day, I was standing on the always-oppressive morning NYU bus with my roommate Alex when we oddly got on the topic of fighting. I think it started out with men fighting, as in "I don't find it attractive when a guy wants to beat someone up, especially if they're slurring their words and doused in Keystone." And then I surprised myself when I said something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I could totally win a fight. No question."

Now I wonder: why was I so sure?

Well first of all, I'm scrappy. I haven't played sports in a while but when I do, I will get in your face. I don't care if you're a six-foot man. I'm coming at you full-force and I'm not afraid of your massive body weight. I am taking you DOWN. I'm 140 pounds of muscle, baby. (But yet, I'm girly enough to balk at the fact that I just put my weight on the Internet. Eek!)

Secondly, I'm clumsy. I often find bruises from run-ins I don't remember, and not ALWAYS because I was drunk when I got them (if ever a sentence made me sound like an alcoholic, that one was it.) When you're always tripping over yourself and walking into various inanimate objects on a daily basis, you stop screaming the F-word every time and learn to control yourself. And suddenly, a tolerance to pain is formed. Amazing!

Third reason: Rage. Ok, so I'm not a foaming-at-the-mouth screamer, and VERY few things make me really angry, but the few times in my life that I've felt PISSED, I've felt very, very pissed. There is RAGE inside me, I tell you, RAGE! I'm serious!

So there you have it. This is not my e-version of standing in a Karate-stance and waving my hand like "Oh yeah, come here and just TRY to kick my ass!" But it is a warning: I may be sweet, but I'm DEADLY.*

*This theory is completely untested.

That's all.